Ever try telling your kids, your spouse, your mate, a sibling, or perhaps a client, what to do?
Would you like to be more persuasive?
Sell more? Get more?
Let me ask…Have you ever used these two words?
“You should”
Hmmm…
We hate being told what to do.
Telling is ANTI– Persuasive.
“You should…”
Yuk!
Probably won’t do it, just to spite you.
“You should go clean your room!”
“NO!”
“You should dump that guy (or girl). They’re no good for you.”
Ha! Good luck with that one.
Instead…I’ve found and use three better words – 3 words that multiply our persuasive powers and persuade with zero resistance:
3 Magic Words to 10x Your Persuasive Powers
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“Here’s how I…”
These 3 simple words have this magical power to 10x your persuasive power.
Because we love to model.
We’ve been doing it successfully since we were babies.
“Oh cool…so that’s how they do it.”
I want to walk, so I’ll put one foot in front of the other too, just like they do. Then again.
Those 3 magic words make all the difference.
They’ll 10X your persuasive powers! There’s real science behind it.
“Here’s how I…”
Or, “Here’s how they…” or “Here’s how we…”
For example…
The Science Behind Why We Won’t Take Advice
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As soon as the words, “You should” leave my mouth, a preconditioned resistance response is instantly and automatically triggered in your brain. “You should” subconsciously triggers this idea that what we’ve been doing is wrong. We’ve been making a mistake. “You should” is judging me. Shaming me. Our fight back, defense response, is biologically and psychologically triggered.
Dr. Robert Cialdini, psychologist, and author of the best selling books, “Influence – The Psychology of Persuasion”, and “Pre-Suasion – Channeling Attention for Change”, cites consistency as a key human component in persuasion.
When you judge or criticize me with the words, “you should” my reaction is to defend, or to be consistent with my previous actions. I must fight to tell you, through my words or continued consistent actions, that I believe what I’m doing, or have been doing, is what’s best. What’s right. Even if results clearly show I’m wrong. Even if I know I’m wrong in my soul AND believe your way might be better, I simply must defend myself. My actions. I must fight to be consistent with who I have been.
When you say, “You should” – I MUST KEEP DOING what I was doing – in order to be consistent.
Even if it is to my detriment.
However, if you say…
“Here’s how I…”
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“Here’s how I got 2 beautiful women at the bar to give me their Instagram last night.”
There is no shaming me. No judging me. Nothing about me. No resistance is triggered.
I just think, “Oh cool” and I TELL MYSELF, convince myself, that I should try that next time I’m out.
You: “You know, I just sat down to write 100 words each night after dinner, every night for three weeks, and now I have my first book up on Amazon – and they send me a check every month.”
Me: (silently to myself) “Hmmm – I’m going to start doing that tonight, just to see if it works for me.” Because I want to make passive income too, just like you!
You: “Here’s how I made $100 from a 5 page report I posted on Gumroad.”
Me: (silently) “Hmmm. 5 pages? I’m going to try that next Saturday when I’m off. That seems easy.”
When you tell me how YOU did the thing I want to do, I’ll CONVINCE MYSELF to do the thing. To try the thing. To MODEL YOU. Because you have shown me a way that has PROVEN successful to get the thing I want. Just like you did. I want that too.
We have been modeling since we were babies. We’re good at that. Zero resistance to modeling.
On the other hand, there is 100% resistance to advice. Advice, as Dr. Robert Cialdini points out, creates inconsistency. It sets us up to go against ourself. And we are NOT hard-wired genetically to do that.
Modeling works. Tell me how you did it. Show me how you did it. And I’ll try it.
But tell me, advise me “I should” and I won’t.
I can’t. It’s not in my nature.
We modeled walking to walk. We watched. Imitated. Failed. Tried again until we could. All on our own. No one had to convince us, sell us, shame us, to walk. We wanted it. So we modeled what we saw to be successful.
Telling us “You should just put one foot in front of the other.” Useless.
We model. Love to model.
Modeling offers a zero resistance path to persuasion.
Tell me how you did that.
If I want that. I’ll model you.
No salesmanship, no convincing, or cajoling required.
Want to know how I’ve become more persuasive?
I’ve been quietly using the Persuasion Tool Kit to collect money, build a list, and get people to persuade themselves to take action. 100 years of proven persuasion science – by some of the world’s greatest marketers, salespeople, and psychologists like Dr. Robert Cialdini – can be found in the toolkit. It’s ready for immediate download and use by marketers, salespeople, teachers, coaches, social media influencers, and parents too.
That’s what I use.
Here’s the easy path, if you’d like to take a sneak peek:
https://robertreports.gumroad.com/l/influencertk
Monkey see. Monkey do. It’s science.
Try telling that same monkey what he should do.
He’ll likely just throw poo at you!
If you insist on figuring things out on your own, like many stubborn folks do, start by looking at yourself.
Why do you do – what you always do?
Did you invent all your actions, or habits on your own? Did someone convince you, or tell you “you should” be this way? Or did you consciously or unconsciously model someone you lived around, or admired?
How’s that working out for you?
If not well…
How could you change to a better way of doing?
Robert Schwarztrauber
P.S. VIDEO TIP – Some of the top ranking, and most effective YouTube videos, Instagram reels, and ads use this technique. They open immediately with, “Here’s how I… (got that thing their audience wants)”. Grabs attention. Instantly breaks through the prospect’s Bubble of Preoccupation. How do you determine exactly what your prospect wants? The Persuasion Tool Kit takes care of that.
P.P.S. Watch eagerly for my next post where I’ll tell you how instead of telling how you did it, because maybe you’re starting from scratch and have no street cred, you can still tell how THEY did it, do it – and still be irresistibly persuasive. I’ve used this method to great success.
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